Recently I’ve had lady friends asking about my weight loss with concern. They are genuinely concerned about my health and the possibility of eating disorder, ugh, but they have no concept of athletic goals. I made it clear that I have a specific goal. I try to be covert with my eating, but with the amount of weight lost it’s a total shock when people see me so for now it’s the main topic of conversation when I go anywhere involving social visits with friends. Part of me can’t wait until this is just the norm and not so much attention all the time. Haha, yeah she’s just a very fit 50yr old!! No big deal.
The neat thing is that these ladies are already into fasting for spiritual reasons so they do not freak out about it. But I think I will explain from now on that I have specific athletic goal with body building. I’ve never had any eating disorder in my life and my goal is not to endlessly get thinner and thinner. It’s been my dream all my life to be totally fit in my 50’s and beyond and I’m achieving it.
I’m now clearly in the 120’s and holding steady. Doing what I’m supposed to be doing and not wanting to sabotage my latest WHOOSH. Like Kimberly recently said the weight loss comes in chunks, just as I’ve recently experienced after being on a very long plateau.
I finally bought a bikini although I will not wear it in public yet it’s better for before pictures than my underwear! Even though I’m not in a contest I want to take the pictures for myself.
I usually wait one more day after donating blood but I couldn’t wait to get to the gym to start W3. I felt awesome at the gym today regardless. My legs are getting so much stronger. The last two weeks they hurt so bad, today I was able to add weight to squats and I felt like I could go on and on with the Bulgarian Split Squats.
It’s such an incredible journey, diving into the deep places of ourselves…if we let ourselves. The varied and open viewpoints of everyone on this site has had more of an effect on me than the Fat Diminisher system and protocol themselves. It’s reading each of YOUR words that’s helping me look at myself in my interior mirror. I’ve said this more than once…I don’t understand why I am so deeply affected by what I have found here thus far at Venus.
I know I need to chronicle all of this as it happens. You all are getting the raw, unplugged version of what I am faced with. I feel like I am being pummeled with realization after realization, things that are being dug up in layers, like an archeological site. This realization, about my terrible treatment of myself, wasn’t even ON MY SURFACE before reading Liss’ post. I didn’t even realize I was doing it!! That’s why it was so huge.
I don’t really want to run away from myself. But I will need to learn the generous and difficult act of self-forgiveness. Like Andie says, it is part of the mental game. Our mindset determines 99% of our weight loss success. Now that I know how I am my own worst saboteur, I can get started calling myself out in this unacceptable behavior. All of your responses are so sweet.
I moved up to the 40 lb bar on T-bends, I would love to get higher in weight on this but I need to strengthen my balance muscles first. I love the Curl and Press and stability ball. I love all the exercises. Oh yeah my stomach was sore last week. Actually everything was sore, especially my legs and I had that weird fatigue reaction last Thursday night. The donating blood and 2 rest days were good. I’m all good now and full of energy.
This week since I’m able I’ll spread the workouts out instead of consecutive days which I was forced to do the last two weeks. I’ll try a run tomorrow (will be slow this week due to less red blood cells) and I have this workout I might start doing again where I jump on the mini trampoline two minutes in between each set of jumping jacks, burpees, mountain climbers, push-ups, tuck jumps, and sit-ups (and some other variations for another day with step-ups, air squats, bicycles, superman, alternating T, plunges, box jumps, jump rope). This I can do at home and saves me a trip to the gym, although I can’t wait to get back to the gym for the VI workout. I love how it’s slightly different every day. Love them!